With interest in the sport plummeting to new lows, rugby union’s peak body has appointed former RBA chief Philip Lowe as its CEO, saying he will be able to quadruple interest in under 18 months.
“We expect to be the number one sport in the country by Christmas,” a spokesperson for Rugby Australia said.
He said the organisation jumped at the chance to snap Lowe up after his contract at the RBA expired. “When it comes to boosting interest, this guy is the best in the business. He’ll start off by releasing a statement saying he won’t increase interest in the sport at all until at least 2024, and then immediately start increasing interest anyway. That’s the way the guy operates. He’s an animal.
“From there, he’ll continue to increase interest relentlessly, well beyond what’s actually required for the sport. By the end of next year there will be so much fucking interest in rugby that they’ll have to run a Senate enquiry”.
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Headline by Anthony Bell
