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Inspiring! This Olympian Competed Without A Backstory

BRISBANE 2032: Australia to Allow Foreign Companies to Extract Gas From Olympic Flame

Channel 7’s Internal Report Into Sexual Harassment to Be Presented by Strippers

“We want to show how seriously we’re taking these allegations by releasing the report at a proper event with some very sexy women”

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French Continue to Fuck With American Conservatives by Claiming the Statue They Gave Them Is Trans

Reverse Parallel Parking Confirmed For 2028 Olympics

Frank Duckworth, Creator Of Duckworth-Lewis Scoring System, Dies Aged 84 (Or 29 Under The Duckworth-Lewis Method)

Rupert Murdoch and New Wife Sign Dual Marriage/Divorce Certificate to Save on Paperwork

Extra from Home Alone 2 Found Guilty of Fraud

Gina Rinehart Shock Inclusion for Australia’s Paris Olympic Swim Team

Dedicated 24-Hour News Channel to Provide Rolling Coverage of Arj Barker/Crying Baby Situation

Seven Launches New ‘Dancing with the Dickheads’

‘The Defo Awards’ for Services to Defamation Fuck-Ups

Channel 7 Launches New Reality Show: ‘Expenses’

Splendour in the Grass to Be Replaced by “4,000 Poker Machines in the Grass”

AFL Matches Cancelled After Players Mistakenly Snort Up Boundary Lines

Sam Kerr Named ‘Australian of the Year’ After Revelations She Spewed in a Taxi and Swore at a Cop

New Corporate Barbie Earns 85% Of Ken’s Salary

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