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Paris Agrees to Properly Represent Catholic Church in Closing Ceremony, With Scene Depicting Systematic Cover-Up of Child Abuse

All Childless Women Required to Become Mothers in 6 Months, Under New JD Vance Plan

“This Is Your 18th and Final Warning!” US Tells Israel

“We have given Israel an ultimatum. Eleven more accidental bombings of civilian areas and then that’s it, the funding is cut!”

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JD Vance Has Panic Attack After Learning Jesus Was Childless

Questions Over Whether Trump Fit to Hold Office, Given He Has Never Given Birth to Children

Trump Calls Emergency Meeting to Come Up With Sexist Nickname for Kamala Harris

Elderly, Confused Man Still Running for President

Biden Agrees to Step Down After Being Told He Has Now Completed His Second Term

Supporters Arrive at Republican Convention Wearing Diapers, Out of Respect for Donald Trump

“If Political Violence Can Happen in America, It Can Happen in Any Country Where 400m Firearms Result in 50,000 Deaths Annually”

“Biden Is Senile, Incompetent Geriatric and Also Orchestrated Sophisticated Assassination Attempt”, Trump Supporters Say

NRA Condemns Trump Rooftop Shooting, Calls for Immediate Ban on Rooftops

Calls for Biden to Very, Very Carefully Step Down

“As America’s First Female President, I Have What It Takes to Defeat Donald Sutherland,” Defiant Biden Says

Australia Loses ‘Shortest Time to 5 PMs Ashes’

Australians to Democrats Who Think Six Weeks Isn’t Enough Time to Oust a Leader: “We’d Have It Done in Under 24 Hours”

Supreme Court Rules That Trump Has Very, Very Large Hands

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