Opposition Leader Peter Dutton will take extended leave to recover from a ‘significant trauma’ after he spotted what he assumed was some sort of banner for an LGBTIQ+ awareness event.
A shaken Mr Dutton said he was frightened by what the colourful sky might represent. “It was bright. It had all sorts of different colours. Some of the colours I don’t even know the names of. It was absolutely terrifying – I wouldn’t wish it on anyone”.
Dutton said he was deeply traumatised by the experience. “I’m pretty sure at one point the night sky offered me a cup of tea and a pastry item and asked me about my thoughts on same-sex relationships. It was very, very scary”.
He said once he was in a better mental state he would begin talks with his Liberal Party colleagues to make Aurora Australis illegal. “We really need to get back to basics and not have spontaneous, colourful light formations up in the sky pushing their agenda”.
