News in Brief
Mark Zuckerberg – Dead At 32 – Denies Facebook Has Problem With Fake News
Man Shaves 1.7 Seconds Off 2-Hour Flight By Standing Up As Soon As Plane Lands
Centrelink Caller Qualifies for Aged Pension While On Hold
Smoking e-Cigarettes Significantly Lowers Risk Of Looking Cool, Report Finds
NAPLAN Results Could Be Gooder, Government Concedes
I Went Without My Phone For A Week And, Oh Fuck This Is Such A Boring Article
Phones Work With Speakerphone Off, Wankers Told
Phrase ‘Political Correctness Gone Mad’ Insensitive To Mad People, Committee Finds
Most Typing Errors Caused By AutoCock, Research Finds
Pete Evans Launches New Cookbook: 100 Simple Conspiracy Theories You Can Create At Home
Malcolm Turnbull’s 5 Tips For Owning Your Own Home
Short Course For Online Bigots
Anti-Vaccination Website Hit By Virus
Report Ranking Internet Speeds By Country Almost Downloaded, Turnbull Says
-
-
News Corp Denies Link Between James Murdoch And Murdoch Family
-
Craig Kelly Disputes Claim That Smoke Will Do Lap Of Earth, Reminding NASA That Earth Is Flat
-
Wanker Announces Plans To Reverse Into Shopping Centre Parking Space
-
Australia Asks Other Nations To Send Backup Politicians, To Help Deal With Bushfire Crisis
-
-
Man Worth $40 Million Hoping To Become Financially Independent
-
Woman Weirdly Decides To Quit Job That Requires Her To Take Shit From Media 24/7
-
Prince Harry Returns To Royal Family, After Trial At Starbucks Doesn’t Work Out
-
-
-
Who Is Going To Ensure We Don’t Have Sex With Animals, Now That Cory Bernardi Has Retired?
EDITORIAL: This week Cory Bernardi resigned from politics. It’s a well-deserved break, after a stunning 13-year career, but we urge him to reconsider his decision. The fact is, with...
-
Wanker Announces Plans To Reverse Into Shopping Centre Parking Space
A man at a local shopping centre car park has let it be known that he will be spending the next seven to eight minutes manoeuvring into a parking...
-
Man Complaining About Hot Cross Buns In January Yet To Realise He Doesn’t Have To Buy Them
A Melbourne man who has spent most of 2019 complaining about how hot cross buns are already on supermarket shelves, is yet to realise he has total control over...
-
Under 9’s Fast Bowler Shortens Run-Up To Just 140 Metres
Eight year-old express bowler Jai Matthews has confirmed his next delivery will be off a short run of just 140 metres.
Follow The Shovel
