The Shovel — News you can believe in

Albanese Apologises to Israeli President for Temporary Outbreak of Democracy

Social Cohesion Enforced by 3,000 Police With Pepper Spray

NSW Police Forcibly Clears City in Touching Tribute to Israeli President

Angus Taylor Says Leadership Spill Necessary To End Instability Caused by Constant Talk of Leadership Spill

Angus Taylor says the party has been left with “no choice” but to vote on the leadership in order to put an end to all the damaging rumours he started about voting on the leadership.

Israel Defends Desecration of Australian War Graves, Says Dead Diggers Belonged to Hamas

Mum & Dad To Give It “One More Go”

Sussan Ley Can’t Believe She’s Less Popular Than Guy Who Spear Tackled 7-Year-Old, Invented RoboDebt, Hid in Hawaii During Bushfires, Asked His Wife Why Rape Was Bad and Shat His Pants at a McDonalds

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Calls for Unused Opposition Benches To Be Converted Into Public Housing

Littleproud Retains Leadership After Unsuccessful Challenge From Guy We Didn’t Even Bother Googling

One Nation Surges Ahead of Labor if It Ignores Basic Mathematics

“I Was Merely Providing CPR to an Underage Girl at a Paedophile’s Private Island,” Prince Andrew Explains

Middle East Tensions Rise as US Threatens to Drop Melania Movie On Iran

“Angus Taylor Has My Vote for Liberal Leader,” Comments Facebook User Angus Taylor

“If They Don’t Like It Here They Can Leave” Say People Who Don’t Like It, but Are Curiously Still Here

Liberals, Nationals Fight Over Who Gets to Keep Gina Rinehart

Wankernomics

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FIFA Peace Prize Recipient Peacefully Starts New War

Trump Says US Will Occupy Venezuela for As Long as It Takes To Distract From Epstein Files

Santa Denied Entry to US After Posting on Social Media That Trump Is a Fuckwit

Santa Avoids Plate of Cookies Left Out by Erin Patterson

Howard Reassures Australians That No Matter How Divided We Feel in This Moment, He Can Always Divide Us More

Reminder: Only 8 More Bruce Lehrmann Court Cases Before Christmas

Vintage Shovel

Kmart Confirms They Moved Check-out to Centre of Store Just to Fucking Annoy You

Publishing Reserve Price Would Punish Dishonest Agents, Real Estate Institute Complains

New ‘This Is Australia, Dickhead’ Option Added To Tip Screen

Vaping Increases Risk of Looking Fucking Ridiculous, Study Shows

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