Any Fighter That Sustains a Traumatic Brain Injury at White House UFC Event To Be Given Senior Government Appointment

Barnaby Joyce Not Celebrating Socceroos Win Because Some Players “Look Like They’ve Recently Arrived”

Man Who Supports One Nation and Socceroos Suffers Mental Breakdown After Former Refugee Scores World Cup Goal

Trending

Elon Musk Broadens His Search For A Friend, After Exhausting All Options On Earth

Indian-Born Malcolm Roberts Now Couch-Surfing, After One Nation Housing Policy Forces Him To Sell Home

Knicks Fan Lets Off Steam by Bombing Iran

Trump to Deport El Niño

Bloke Who Can’t Commit to Wife or Party Reckons Women Should Be Forced To Make Lifelong Commitment

Australia To Source Submarines From Facebook Marketplace, Under New AUKUS Agreement

Pamplona and Gloucestershire To Combine Festivals for “Bulls Chasing Idiots Chasing a Cheese Wheel Down a Hill”

Snake Experts Warn Public Not To Try and Pick Up Wild RFK Jr

Wankernomics

Don't miss

US Declares Huge Victory After It Negotiates for Trade Route That Was Previously Open To Re-Open

Trump, RFK Jnr Unsure Whether To Treat Potential Ebola Outbreak With Really Powerful Light or Raw Milk

Trump Opens Brutally Honest Fortune Cookie at Chinese State Banquet

Xi Invites Trump To Inspect Factories Where MAGA Merchandise Is Made

US Threatens To Keep Bombing Iran Until Access to Straight of Hormuz Returns to How It Was Before Us Started Bombing Iran

Interest Rates Rise in Australia Because Some Fuckwit in America Wasn’t Hugged Enough as a Child

Vintage Shovel

Australia Post Issues Scam Warning: “If They Knock On Your Door, It’s Not Us”

Woman Going Away for Weekend Packs 300 Outfits

New Law Stipulates That Every Hotel Shower Must Operate in Completely Different Way

Kmart Confirms They Moved Check-out to Centre of Store Just to Fucking Annoy You

Get more Shovel

Live Shows

Shovel Merch

Become a Shovel Member

Never Miss a Thing