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Mark Zuckerberg Posts 6,000 Word Essay Arguing That “AI Won’t Take Human Jobs. If You Like, I Can Rewrite This Essay in a More Human Tone”

“Smart Glasses” Users Required To Wear Rolf Harris Costume, Under New Proposal

Apple Launches Sleek, Beautifully-Designed New Tax Avoidance Program

“A tax model that mixes superb minimalist design with exquisite moral indifference”

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Jetstar Announces New $39.95 Same-Day-Arrival™ Fee

Alan Joyce’s Autobiography Delayed, Customers Offered Credit Voucher

Factory That Makes World’s Smallest Violins Unable To Meet Demand, After Elon Musk Loses Trillionaire Status

Elon Musk Broadens His Search For A Friend, After Exhausting All Options On Earth

Australia Post Issues Scam Warning: “If They Knock On Your Door, It’s Not Us”

New Apple CEO Pretty Much the Same, But With Better Camera

Gina Rinehart Hopeful Of Repairing Relationship With Her Estranged Money

Gold Coast’s Trump Tower Will Require 5,000 Tonnes of Bronzer a Day To Maintain Orange Glow

Sagrada Familia Completion Date Blows Out Again After CFMEU Gets Involved

ACCC Says Fine to Coles for Misleading Consumers Should Be Reduced From $150 Million to Just $200 Million

Kmart Confirms They Moved Check-out to Centre of Store Just to Fucking Annoy You

Crime Gangs Pivot From Importing Cigarettes to Designing BOM Websites: “It’s Crazy Money”

Publishing Reserve Price Would Punish Dishonest Agents, Real Estate Institute Complains

Elon Musk Willing To Forgo $1 Trillion Pay Deal if Shareholders Tell Him They Think He Is Cool

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