Scott Morrison Appointed Head of Safety at Boeing — The Shovel

Scott Morrison Appointed Head of Safety at Boeing

The former PM has been officially appointed to the role, after impressing management during a 12 month stint in charge of affixing doors to 737s, a task the company says he has completed successfully almost all of the time.

“Of the hundred or so doors that Scott has welded to aeroplanes, only one or two have fallen off mid-flight. That’s a pretty remarkable hit rate,” a Boeing spokesperson said.

“We’ve been impressed with his attention to detail. His cost calculations have only been out by $60 billion or so. And while he did initially forget to order the doors to affix to the planes, he did manage to pick up some cheaply at the last minute from Poland”.

The company also singled out Morrison’s unique work ethic. “He’s managed to finish quite a lot of his shifts without going on holidays, which we hear is a real improvement for him. And when we had that disaster on the Alaska Airlines flight, he came back from Hawaii to deal with it within just a few weeks”.

In a statement, Morrison said he was looking forward to the new challenge. “This new role has really opened a lot of doors. Some of them we weren’t able to close again. But most of them are now safely secured to the aircraft”.

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