Acknowledging that it’s probably easier to change our colonial masters than it is to hold another referendum, Australia will leave the British Commonwealth this week and become part of the Kingdom of Denmark.
The move means Australia will finally get a monarch who was born in Australia, after more than 230 years of being ruled by someone born in England.
“You’d think that the obvious thing to do would be to hold a referendum and become a republic. But given the absolute horror-show of a Voice referendum last year, and the republic referendum 25 years ago, we all agreed it would be much simpler to just move from being ruled by one small country in northern Europe to another small country in northern Europe. We’re basically just shifting things 300km east,” a spokesperson for Australia said.
Some changes will result from the new allegiance. Australia Day will now be held on the 15th of January each year. And ‘The Ashes’ will be replaced by a bi-annual Test series against Denmark, which many say will pose a tougher challenge for Australia.
On being told this morning that Australia will leave the Commonwealth, King Charles said, “What is an Australia?”