The world is on high alert after former Prime Ministers Scott Morrison and Boris Johnson arrived in Israel to provide advice on how to approach the conflict.
“We really didn’t think things could get worse. But then Scott and Boris arrived to give us their thoughts,” UN Secretary General António Guterres said.
“We’re working overtime to try and de-escalate the situation and Scotty arrives with a new curry recipe and an analogy about how the war is like the movie The Croods. It could tip the whole thing into an all-out regional conflict.
“I mean, I’m as keen as anyone to see Scott doing a photo shoot pretending to re-build a chicken coop in a kibbutz, but now’s probably not the best time”.
He said Boris Johnson was also a threat to the current situation. “What this situation requires is careful diplomacy, not a quote from Shakespeare or Ovid. Trust me, I’d love to know what the Latin is for ‘peace negotiations’ or what the Illiad had to say about military tactics, but let’s save it until the current situation has calmed”.