Australia’s long-standing modern record in the ‘5 Prime Ministers Ashes’ has come to an end, after Kier Starmer won the UK election overnight.
Many believed Australia’s modern-era feat of installing five Prime Ministers in five years and two months – set in 2015 – would never be beaten. But in a stunning performance, Britain smashed the record, achieving the coveted PM Quintuple in four years, eleven months and ten days.
It is the fastest time to five Prime Ministers of the modern era (Australia achieved the feat in a Bradmanesque 650 days between 1903 and 1905, but that was on uncovered pitches or something like that so it doesn’t count).
People across Britain were ecstatic last night, saying it felt incredible to beat the once-invincible Australians. “It’s an amazing feeling,” London resident Xavier Trellora said.
“Australia was always so feared – the way they went through Prime Ministers in the 2010s was awe-inspiring. They even brought in Rudd for a second go, which didn’t seem to be within the spirit of the game if I’m honest, but that’s Australia for you. I certainly never thought we’d beat them.
“But then things started to turn. Theresa May comes in, and is pretty quickly replaced by Boris. And when Liz Truss becomes Prime Minister in 2022, for the first time I thought, ‘Hang on, we might be in with a chance here’. Forty-five days later we’re onto Rishi Sunak and then, well, the rest is history”.
Some are now questioning Rishi Sunak’s unusual decision to call an early election, suggesting he may have been trying to influence the result of the 5 Prime Ministers Ashes. “It does beg the question, did he have money on Britain winning it?” one insider asked. “Why else would he have gone so early? It looks obvious now. If he’d waited a few more months, the record would’ve stayed with Australia. But he wanted to win it”.
