American Democrats worried that six weeks is not enough time to replace Joe Biden with another candidate have turned to Australian politicians, who are used to getting rid of a leader in under twenty-four hours.
Senior Democrats have become paralysed with fear since the Presidential debate, realising that Biden is not up to the job, but terrified that there is not enough time before the National Convention in August to find a replacement.
But one Australian politician contacted by the Party explained that six weeks is more than enough time. “Mate, relax! That’s an eternity. All you need is a few hours on the phones, a fifteen-minute vote behind closed doors, and it’s job done,” the politician, who did not wish to be named called Bill, said. “Put me on the payroll and I’ll have the whole thing wrapped up before the weekend”.
As American media pundits and political experts explained that replacing a sitting leader this close to an election was ‘unprecedented’ and ‘virtually impossible’, Australians pointed out that there are other countries in the world.
“You guys are hilarious – that’s oodles of time! Bob Hawke become Australian Labor leader three and a half weeks before the Federal election and went on to be Prime Minister for the best part of a decade,” one Australian said.
“And if you think we’re just weird in Australia, ask someone in Britain – they’ll tell you you’ve got plenty of time. The Democratic Convention is 46 days away for God’s sake. Liz Truss’s entire Prime Ministership didn’t last that long. You’ll be fine”.
