Australian News

Hawaiian dancers used to lure Scott Morrison out of Kirribilli House

CUTE! Cuddly Pete feeds GORGEOUS baby lamb while discussing ways to ruthlessly divide nation

Gentler, Kinder Dutton to Insult Minority Groups More Affectionately From Now On

Australians relieved to finally have Ministry chosen on incredibly specific factional alliances

“Having only been in Parliament for 21 years, Australians haven’t had the chance to see the real me yet” by Peter Dutton

Sussan Ley pauses briefly during acceptance speech to buy must-have Gold Coast apartment

Cuddly Pete apologises for running late to leadership vote after getting held up picking wild flowers again

Voldemort demands Tanya Plibersek apologise for ‘hurtful’ comparisons to Peter Dutton

Albanese orders removal of emergency hi-vis, ukulele, curry kit from Lodge

Albo surprised to find PM’s office hasn’t been touched for past 4 years

Dejected Liberal staffers gather for farewell desk wank

Sydney Airport announces new ‘Scott Morrison Memorial Terminal’, after Liberals lose PM in disaster

Senior Liberal figures to examine how electorate got it so wrong

Coalition ‘clear winner’ (when using carryover credits from previous elections)

Sweeping change: Albo to remove sex swing from Parliament House prayer room

United Australia Party gets confused, accidentally delivers 3% cap on its primary vote