Irish technology company Apple has once again raised the bar with this week’s launch of a stunning global tax-minimisation system that allows it to effortlessly shift profit offshore and minimise tax elsewhere.
Some critics had claimed that the rest of the world was catching up to the tech giant’s innovative methods of paying minimal tax. But Apple has responded in typical awe-inspiring fashion, with a new tax model that mixes superb minimalist design with exquisite moral indifference.
At a special invitation-only launch event, new CEO John Ternus said that the new model will allow the organisation to effortlessly avoid tax. “It has a beautiful simplicity on the outside, with all the necessary complexity behind the scenes that you don’t need to worry about,” he said. “We’ve also added a lawsuit resistant feature. Quite simply, it’s the best tax minimisation system we’ve ever created”.
Ternus had the crowd eating from the palm of his hand as he demonstrated how the company could turn $230 billion in revenue to just $11.95 in tax. “It’s a game-changer,” he said.
