The newly named Lake America (formally Lake Ontario) has turned florescent green after Trump’s intervention caused a rapid algae bloom.
Onlookers said the lake now resembled a giant bowl of rancid guacamole, or a reflecting pool in a national capital.
“He’s like a new-age Midas. Everything he touches turns a strange radioactive green,” one tourist said.
Trump dismissed concerns, saying he wanted to bring a Washington vibe to the northern lake. “People are saying it’s the greenest lake they’ve ever seen. It’s never looked more American,” the President said.
The White House initially blamed the algae bloom on a random former Olympian and woke environmentalists, but later announced that the green colour was probably caused by winning too much.
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Headline by Anthony Bell
