Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney says Lake Ontario will become Lake of Hormuz from today, in what he described as a “completely unnecessary but extremely satisfying” response to US President Donald Trump’s trade tantrum.
Carney admitted Canada could not compete with the US in terms of military spending or trade threats, but could “absolutely fuck with the mind of the little manbaby currently in the White House”.
“It’s not going to solve anything. But every time Trump has to say ‘Lake Hormuz’ he’ll be reminded of that time he tried to invade a nation and ended up losing billions of dollars and the control of a major waterway. So that in itself makes it worth it,” Carney said.
A Canadian official confirmed that Americans will now be charged a $1 million fee every time they use the lake. “We’re just following international precedent. Every time Trump tries to take over a waterway that was previously free to enter, he ends up having to pay for access”.
