A woman fleeing domestic violence has thanked Pauline Hanson for her practical advice this week, saying she now realised she had been approaching the problem all wrong.
“I was thinking far too locally,” she explained from beside an infinity pool overlooking the Mediterranean. “Pauline made me realise that if you’re experiencing domestic violence, the obvious solution is to simply remove yourself from the situation and stay somewhere with complimentary breakfast and room service”.
She said escaping a controlling partner and leaving her house had been easier than she imagined. “I’d never considered business class before,” the woman admitted. “I’d been wasting my time worrying about things like money, passports, childcare, employment, immigration laws and whether my violent partner might notice I’d disappeared. Turns out you just … go to Europe”.
She said the hardest part was deciding between the resort’s three infinity pools. “I nearly let myself get bogged down in negativity again. Then I remembered Pauline’s message about personal responsibility and thought, ‘No. I deserve the adults-only pool’.”
Domestic violence advocates said they were embarrassed they hadn’t thought of international luxury tourism sooner. “For years we’ve been asking governments to fund emergency housing, counselling, legal assistance and long-term support,” one worker said. “In hindsight we probably should’ve been helping women compare Sicilian boutique hotels”.
Hanson insisted she had never suggested that every victim should stay at a five-star Sicilian resort.
“I don’t know why people always twist my words,” she said. “Four stars would also be perfectly adequate”.
