In his latest rant on Truth Social, the President of the United States has claimed that the ongoing situation with the Strait of Hormuz would never have been a problem if the tectonic plates had opened the passage slightly wider during the early Cenozoic Era.
“If it weren’t for the PATHETIC plate tectonics during the Paleogene being too WEAK to open the Strait of Hormuz even the slightest bit WIDER, then Iran would have nothing to negotiate with!!!” Trump posted.
“So as you can see: this is NOT MY FAULT!!! MAKE PANGEA GREAT AGAIN!!! President DONALD J. TRUMP!”
White House insiders have leaked that the President’s venting may hint at his next plan for ceasefire negotiations: stalling until the tectonic plates shift and create a second Strait of Hormuz.
However, fact-checkers have accused Trump of spreading misinformation in the online tirade, as the strait was actually formed during the late Cretaceous period.
In response to the President shifting blame onto them, the Earth’s upper mantle said that Trump was “talking lots of shit for a guy living so close to the Yellowstone supervolcano”.
