Donald Trump has told aides he has finished playing the Iran game now and someone else can clean it up.
“Bored now! Wanna play with Greenland again. Or Mexicans. Let’s get the Mexicans out,” Trump said, before being distracted by a painting of himself in the Oval Office.
“Great painting. I love this painting. Tariffs. Let’s play tariffs again!” he said, repeatedly pressing the button on his desk to order a Diet Coke.
“Don’t want Coke anymore. Let’s blow up Cuba. Actually let’s do tariffs again. Where’s my Diet Coke?”
White House insiders say Trump was very excited by the Iran war during the ‘big boom’ phase but had lost interest once it started to involve things like maps and consequences.
“That’s our Donald! He’s pulled the entire Middle East apart and just left it there for someone else to pack up. Typical Donny!” one staffer chuckled. “If we weren’t all part of a cult we’d probably try to do something about it, but such is life!”
