Punters across Australia have discovered the US is at war with Iran, after the conflict impacted two sacred pillars of Australian culture: sports and petrol.
When the first US strikes hit Iran, the news story was deemed secondary to the much more monumental fallout occurring on the Kyle and Jackie O show. However, as E10 prices soared above two bucks a litre, some Aussies suspected not even Sandilands was to blame for this one.
The news broke all at once for Newcastle physio, Ryan Berger, while he was watching the Matildas play Iran at the Women’s Asia World Cup.
“When Iran’s players were saluting during their national anthem, I got really confused. That’s when I went to news.com, scrolled down four pages, and found out there’s actually a war going on. Who knew!” he shared in disbelief.
Upon learning that the impacts on football and filling up his Subaru Forester were both because the United States started a war with Iran, Ryan became opposed to Australia’s complicity in the violence.
“I can’t believe nobody mentioned anything about the war earlier!” Ryan exclaimed, almost two weeks into the strikes.
“We need to do something. It’s completely un-Australian to let people get hurt in the name of football. That’s more of a FIFA thing.”
As it stands, Australia has only offered to support the war with limited military aircraft. However, geopolitics experts theorise that the PM won’t hesitate to deploy ground troops if the price of beer is also impacted.
