With new approval ratings released, Liberal Party leader Sussan Ley says she can’t believe she is less popular than the guy who spear tackled a 7-year-old, invented RoboDebt, hid in Hawaii during Australia’s worst bushfires, lied about the fact he went to Hawaii, flew into a flood zone for a photo shoot with a broom, had to ask his wife why rape was bad, secretly swore himself into half a dozen Government ministries, didn’t hold a hose, forgot to order vaccines during a global pandemic, corruptly allocated funding for carparks to marginal electorates, never actually built the carparks anyway, refused to implement an anti-corruption commission, brought an actual fucking piece of coal into Parliament and waved it around like an arsehat, established AUKUS, single-handedly ruined Australia’s relationship with France, prioritised photo opps in trucks and planes over governing, said ‘Not far from here, such marches, even now are being met with bullets’ in reference to a peaceful demonstration about women’s rights, kept track of his bribes to electorates with a colour-coded spreadsheet, posted a picture of himself cooking a curry every time he wanted to divert attention away from his lack of policies, employed an actual empathy consultant presumably because he didn’t have any empathy himself, forcibly shook people’s hands when they didn’t want to shake his, and shat his pants at a McDonalds.
