Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor says the recent photos released of him are not incriminating at all, and actually depict the time he heroically responded to a medical emergency by catching a private jet from England to the Caribbean at short notice to provide life-saving assistance to the guest of a man who happened to be a convicted sex offender.
“Any suggestion that I was doing anything other than saving this woman’s life is a grotesque misunderstanding of basic first aid and reality,” the former Prince said.
When asked why the CPR appeared to be taking place at a party, Andrew pointed out that islands owned by paedophiles are statistically just as likely to require resuscitation as any other island. “Sometimes more likely in my experience actually.”
The former prince said it was possible that more photos would emerge of him providing medical care on the private island. “Unfortunately that island seemed to be a bit of a hotspot for acute medical emergencies, so I did find myself rushing there on quite a few occasions to administer care”.
Sources close to Andrew say he is frustrated by what he sees as a pattern of unfair scrutiny. “First they didn’t believe I couldn’t sweat. Now they don’t believe I’m an impromptu island paramedic. At some point, one must ask whether the public simply refuses to accept my many, many unlikely explanations.”
