Former Opposition Leader Peter Dutton was today nervously awaiting the start of the second Ashes Test, desperately hoping that England might somehow conjure a more humiliating loss than the one he one he suffered in Brisbane earlier this year.
Experts say that both Dutton and England have a special ability to take an unassailable lead and turn it into a crushing defeat, but believe Dutton may have England covered.
“There’s certainly a history there of collapsing under pressure, especially under lights. And England has a tendency to collapse too, but usually not quite so spectacularly” analyst Mark Harrow said.
He said it was difficult to see England beating Dutton’s record. “In the last test England were 100 runs in front with nine wickets in hand and then managed to lose by 8 wickets. But Dutton was literally set to become Prime Minister and then ended up losing his own seat. So I think the Poms have got their work cut out for them in Brisbane,” he said.
Dutton’s staff remain cautiously pessimistic. “We’ve run the numbers,” one aide said. “Even if England are bowled out for a single-digit total, it still doesn’t quite reach the magnitude and humiliation of Peter’s Brisbane result. But we’re open to miracles”.
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Headline by Anthony Bell
