The newly-married Prime Minister was up late last night researching the best honeymoon locations, in romantic destinations on a margin of less than five percent.
“I hear outer suburban Brisbane is a particularly romantic spot babe,” he called out to Jodie, while typing ‘Bridgeman Downs’ into booking.com.
“Jodie says she’s more keen for Europe. But like I told her last night, there’s nothing more romantic than putting on the high-vis and visiting a local manufacturing plant in a must-win seat. Like I’ve always said, why go to Monte Carlo when you can go to Eden-Monaro?” the Prime Minister said.
Not excited about spending her honeymoon in a suburban growth corridor, Haydon suggested maybe Fiji or Italy. “Yep, we could definitely do those. Or we could do Bridgeman Downs in outer Brisbane, or even just stay local and head up to North Epping. So many options,” the PM replied.
After several hours of poring over potential options, Albanese said he’d landed on the perfect holiday. “I reckon instead of just heading to one spot we mix it up a bit and try to knock off seven or eight locations. We don’t want to miss anything. Joondalup is always great that time of year. And I know you’ve been talking about going to the Division of Sturt for ages … I think. So let’s do it!”
Here are Albo’s top five picks.
Joondalup, WA (Seat of Moore, held by ALP on a margin of 2.89%)
It’s a well-kept secret, but outer suburban Perth is a particularly romantic spot these days. Why go all the way to Fiji or Italy when you can go to the heart of the Division of Moore, a key seat – I mean a sublime spot – just 24 km north of the Perth CBD. Enjoy a relaxing stroll through the Lakeside Joondalup Shopping City complex, take a tour of the North Metropolitan Tafe, and get to know the locals and the issues that are important to them as we approach the next election. Bliss!
Everton Hills, QLD (Dickson, held by ALP on a margin of 4.99%)
Everton Hills doesn’t have its own tourism website, but its Wikipedia entry does provide this enticing description: “Everton Hills contains numerous hardware and automotive services, which include hardware, glaziers, landscapers, mechanics and smash repairs”. Nothing like a main road full of small businesses to get the heart racing! Nestled just 14km from the Brisbane CBD and 19km from the nearest beach, it’s the perfect base for honeymooning/campaigning in the electorate of Dickson.
Croydon North, VIC (Deakin, held by ALP on a margin of 2.82%)
Croydon North may not be at the top of everyone’s list, but it’s second on mine. As in, until recently, it was the second most marginal electorate in the country. But that’s not the only reason to visit. Actually, it is. There’s literally no other reason. Perfect for two lovebirds looking to solidify their relationship with the Australian voting public!
Epping, NSW (Berowra, held by Liberal Party on a margin of 1.63%)
Sydney is regarded as one of the most stunning honeymoon destinations around, and for good reason – think luxurious hotels, Opera House views, and harbourside dining. Epping has none of that – it’s 18km north-west of the city on the M2. But it does have the Epping Aquatic and Leisure Centre which is great for a dirty weekend, or at the very least a media call in a hard hat.
Holden Hill, SA (Sturt, held by ALP on a margin of 6.62%)
It’s not quite within a 5% margin, but it’s in a very strategic, sorry, beautiful part of South Australia. While everyone else seems to be besotted with Paris and the Amalfi Coast, I’m more inclined to explore the hidden secrets of Holden Hill, a suburb 10km north-east of Adelaide CBD named after a road extension. What it lacks in spectacular coastal drives or world-class museums it makes up for in plentiful fast-food options and easy access to North-East road. Sip lattes with your newlywed at the McCafe, do a spot of shopping at Westfield Tea Tree Plaza, before finishing up at Holden Hill Carpet Court for a quick press conference about your new small business policy.
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Image by Chris Murray
