The National Party has agreed unanimously to re-commit to its target of making the Liberal Party completely unelectable by 2050, saying it will continue to put forward ridiculous climate policies until every single urban Coalition seat is lost.
The Nationals used a party room meeting at the weekend to confirm the goal, with Nationals Leader David Littleproud saying he was quietly confident the party could achieve the net zero seats target for its senior Coalition partner sooner.
“We’re certainly bullish about our chances of wiping them out completely before the end of this decade. I think if we continue to take into consideration what Australians want done on climate, and then do the exact opposite of that, we can get a lot of those suburban seats changing hands pretty quickly,” he said.
Nationals MP Matt Canavan was even more optimistic about his party’s target. “Australians are crying out for cheaper energy prices and a solid, predictable strategy to deal with climate change. So by continuing to make coal the number one energy priority and fucking around with ridiculous ideas like nuclear, I actually think we can totally destroy the Liberal party within the next electoral cycle,” he said.
Asked why the Nationals would want to make the Liberal Party unelectable given they relied on the Coalition to form government, Littleproud was clear. “Because we’re mad as a cut snake, it’s as simple as that. The mistake you’ve made is assuming we do things for logical reasons, but we’re actually insane. None of us knows what we’re actually doing”.
