A crestfallen Anthony Albanese says he hasn’t received a single phone call, text, or even a cheeky meme, after his personal phone number was leaked online this week.
“I honestly thought I’d be inundated,” the PM said at a press conference today, staring at his phone’s empty notifications screen. “Not even a scam text pretending to be Australia Post”.
Albanese said he’d even logged into a website that requires two-factor identification, just so he would receive at least one text message. “But they ended up sending me a code to my email address instead. My phone’s still empty”.
A spokesperson for the Government confirmed that the number was indeed real and still active. “He even turned it off and on again a few times, just in case,” the spokesperson said. “Please, if you’ve got a spare moment today, send Anthony a message. Anything at all just to raise his spirits a little”.
The PM said he was hopeful he would receive a call or message soon. “Oh hang on, here’s a message now … oh no wait that’s just a drunken dick pic from Barnaby Joyce. Nothing out of the ordinary there”.
