A local gym teacher has enjoyed the advances he’s received today from the school’s English department following the engagement announcement of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce.
Choosing to declare the happy news with the caption, “Your English teacher and your gym teacher are getting married”, Swift and Kelce’s news has everyone asking the same question: What the fuck are the fees at that school?
And while the engagement has been a source of joy for white women and white teenage girls alike, it’s been the source of havoc for one Waratah High School gym teacher, Mr Phil Reid, who is suddenly the staffroom’s most eligible bachelor.
“I’m chuffed and all, but I can’t go five minutes without a member from the English department asking if I have a ‘Blank Space’ for them this weekend,” said the 52-year-old phys ed teacher, unaware of the news in Swiftie World.
“It’s a bit distracting, but all the other blokes in the staffroom keep telling me to ‘Shake It Off’. Is there something I’m missing?”
