Relations between the United States and Palestine hit an all-time high today, after a young boy in Gaza caught the attention of the White House press with a stunning display of keen political tact.
Inspired by Volodymyr Zelensky’s recent efforts in Washington to curry favour from Trump, five-year-old Moaz Shahin realised the real reason why the US was still opposed to recognising Palestine was that nobody from his demolished home was wearing suits.
Immediately, Moaz whisked himself off to the nearest tailor, where he spent all his savings on a dapper tuxedo, hoping to catch the eyes of a White House staffer, or even a Fox News host.
“It’s like they always say, ‘Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.’ And apparently the thing I want you don’t get unless you cosplay as a real estate agent for the President,” said the emaciated but elegant five-year-old.
“I’ve also been practising ending every sentence with ‘Thank you Mr Trump, sir,’ so that the Vice President is equally impressed with how grateful I am for the fuck-all that they’ve done for me… Thank you Mr Trump, sir.”
Moaz’s efforts paid off instantly, with him receiving an invitation to the Oval Office before he even finished clasping the second button of his double-breasted Armani jacket.
