The Liberal Party has warned that recognising the state of Palestine could lead to a slippery slope of recognising other inconvenient realities, such as climate change and women.
A spokesperson said the party had worked “tirelessly” over decades to avoid reality in all its forms and wouldn’t risk that record now.
“If we start acknowledging Palestine, where does it end? Next thing you know we’ll be admitting that coal mines don’t actually lower emissions, or that trickle-down economics is real”.
When asked whether the party would ever change its stance, the spokesperson said they were “open to recognition” — but only after Israel, the US, and the ghost of Robert Menzies all personally gave the green light. “And even then, we’d want to be cautious about rushing into it”.
Opposition Leader Sussan Ley said it was important to take a “balanced approach” to the issue, “by which I mean staying perfectly balanced on the wrong side of history”.
The party was this morning drafting a motion to formally deny the existence of the Great Barrier Reef in order to avoid setting any further precedents.
