Prime Minister Anthony Albanese made history today when he announced that in September, Australia will recognise the statehood of what’s left of Palestine.
This major move comes as a vast upgrade on how Australia currently recognises Palestine, which is akin to knowing their face at a party but being too embarrassed to admit you forgot their name.
“I just met with my cabinet, and we agreed that enough is enough. We must recognise Palestine. And come September, enough will probably have gotten worse, but oh well, what can you do?” the PM said.
Come September, Australia will join numerous other countries in recognising Palestine, which provides Netanyahu with an exact deadline on when he’ll need to have finished his occupation.
Following the noteworthy announcement, critics of the Albanese Government slammed him for the symbolic recognition, even though anything more substantial would only anger them further.
“Recognising Palestine as a state does nothing to stop the war,” complained one man opposed to doing anything to stop the war.
Albanese has also been criticised by the Opposition, who claim this puts Australia at odds with the United States. Because if there’s any country right now we need to be perfectly morally aligned with, it’s the US.
However, the announcement comes as good news to the people starving in Palestine, who know they now only need to last another month or so without food.
