In a confusing turn of events, Donald Trump was welcomed to Scotland by bagpipes this week, with locals unable to tell which overinflated, blustering bag of air was which.
Trump is visiting Scotland to undertake the important Presidential task of visiting his own golf courses, but some say they already have enough outdated sacks of leather in the country already.
“It was hard to tell which was worse,” said Inverness local Fiona MacLeod. “One’s a pompous, overinflated cultural relic that nobody really asked for, and the other’s a musical instrument.
“I thought I was listening to a ceremonial military band. Turns out it was just Trump yelling about Hillary Clinton’s emails. Unbearable”.
Others came out in defence of the outdated sack of air. “Bagpipes may be shrill, but at least they don’t incite insurrections,” one Edinburgh local said.
She said like bagpipes, Trump is more bearable from a long distance. “Preferably 5,000 miles or more”.
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Headline by Anthony Bell
