Taylor Swift, Ryan Gosling and a host of other celebrities have been told to take extra security precautions, after the deaths of Ozzie Osbourne, Hulk Hogan and Pope Francis failed to diminish public interest in the Epstein files.
An anonymous source said the White House’s strategy of flooding the media cycle with non-Epstein celebrity news may need to ramp up.
“We thought 48-hours of Osbourne retrospectives would do the trick. But no. It turns out people really want to see these damn files,” the source said.
They said the White House had briefly tried non-murderous methods to distract the media cycle, but with limited success. “We paid the Astronomer CEO a lot of money to go to that Cold Play concert and ruin his life. And it did look for a moment there as if it had done the trick. But now we’re back to square one”.
Other sources say the White House is picking off celebrities in reverse alphabetical order. “We had the Pope, then Osbourne. If I was Natalie Portman or Nicole Kidman I’d be keeping a very low profile right now,” one informant said.
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Headline by Anthony Bell
