Plans for an elaborate military parade to celebrate Donald Trump’s 79th birthday had to be abandoned after thousands of troops were mysteriously exempt from service at the last minute.
A US military spokesperson said the parade was ready to begin when they were suddenly inundated with doctor’s certificates. “We received 20,000 sick notes from our soldiers. It was something about not being able to participate because of a sore heel, which was strange because they all looked fine to me yesterday. It’s all a bit weird, but I’m sure it’s legitimate,” the spokesperson said.
The certificates were supplied by a doctor practising in Queens, New York.
More to come.
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Headline by Anthony Bell
