Sussan Ley has made her first important decision as leader, adding an extra ‘s’ to her title due to some batshit crazy numerology theory that promises to increase vibrations within the universe or some shit.
The new Oppossition Leader said the decision was simple. ‘I added an extra ‘s’ to my first name after reading about this numerology theory that if you add the numbers that match the letters in your name you can change your personality. That didn’t work. But I reckon if I try again with my job title, I might just be able to align the planets in the correct formation to achieve the necessary synergies to balance the energies in the solar system and sync the life-force in the … fuck I don’t know what I’m talking about”.
Ley denied that the Liberal Party had lost sight of the needs of ordinary Australians. “What Australians are crying out for is the addition of superfluous s’s in places where you would least expect them. As leader, I am committed to lisstening to the concerns of voterss and building a better future for all Australianss”.
