Hours after white smoke bellowed from the Vatican to confirm the election of Pope Leo XIV, black smoke returned, signalling the beginning of the traditional ‘burning of the papal candidate hard drives’.
Given the astonishing scale of historic sexual abuse within the Catholic Church, Vatican hierarchy said it was important to ‘cleanse’ the candidate hard drives after the selection processes had been completed.
“It’s a traditional safety measure that’s been in place for many years. We’re not making any assertions about the new Pope – we’re very confident with our choice. But when you’ve got dozens of candidates under global scrutiny, in an institution like this, it’s statistically … well let’s just say it’s always better to be safe than sorry,” one source said.
The black smoke is expected to continue for many days to come. Following the burning, the remains from the hard drives will be shifted to another parish to avoid detection.
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Headline by Anthony Bell
