A punishing schedule of nonstop visits to petrol stations by Opposition Leader Peter Dutton has, on the eve of the election, completely emptied Australia of its fuel reserves.
Mr Dutton’s election campaign has required him to be photographed filling up his car with a petrol bowser, sometimes up to 6 times a day, dramatically draining essential fuel supplies across the country.
The reckless and repetitive photo opportunities have left thousands of Australian families without petrol this weekend, many of whom were planning to vote for Mr Dutton tomorrow, but now won’t be able to because they can’t drive to a polling booth.
“There’s quite an irony here,” said one frustrated Liberal voter. “He’s spent the whole campaign promising to lower our fuel prices, but thanks to his obsession with holding a bowser for the cameras, there’s no petrol left for any of us to buy!”
Fuel industry analysts say they’re surprised Mr Dutton’s car was able to accommodate so many petrol refills, given the car’s tank was surely always full. “There were days where he filled up the tank at one station, and then literally just drove 40 metres to the BP down the road, where he got out for the media pack and filled up again,” said one analyst. “Either he’s got the world’s least fuel efficient car, or he’s pumping the stuff in to bursting point!”
With only one day of the campaign to go, Mr Dutton has apologised to Australians for singlehandedly exhausting the country’s fuel supply. “If you need to get anywhere,” Mr Dutton said, “Just do what I always do, and ask Gina Rinehart for a lift in her private jet.”
