Donald Trump’s best-selling book about negotiation tactics will include a new section on how to lose your nerve and shit the bed when things get too hard.
Sources say the new section will include a case study of how to pretend to be a tough-guy by imposing global tariffs, and then spectacularly backing down just hours later when you realise you’re totally out of your depth and you don’t know what you’re doing.
“Nothing makes you look stronger than saying you’re definitely not going to back down on Monday, and then dramatically backing down on Wednesday,” an excerpt from the new chapter reads.
“If you really want to demonstrate to your negotiating partners that you’re not to be messed with, then you’ve got to hold your nerve, look strong, and then totally capitulate the moment things get difficult,” another sentence reads.
Trump fans say they can’t wait to buy the new edition. “The guy is a business genius,” one supporter said. “The way he has undermined business confidence, organised our trading partners against us and created huge uncertainty without any gains for the US is very, very clever”.
