
Following news that Peter Dutton will live in Kirribilli House if elected, a furious Anthony Albanese said he had no idea there were other options available to him.
The Prime Minister confirmed he had been living on a leather Chesterfield in the Canberra Airport Chairman’s Lounge for the past three years, using the buffet for meals.
“The Champagne and charcuterie are lovely, but it would be nice to get out of the airport once in a while,” Albanese explained. “The constant announcements about upcoming flights can get very annoying. It feels a bit like Tom Hanks in that movie The Terminal – except with more lobster canapés”.
The Prime Minister said he moved out of his house upon becoming Prime Minister and has lived in the Lounge ever since. “I’ll be honest, I came in through a secret door in 2022 and I’ve never really figured out how to get out again on my own. So I go to Parliament for sitting days, accompanied by my staff, and then I come back again in the evenings,” Albanese explained.
“It doesn’t have quite the views of Kirribilli, but I hear wifi is better” he said.
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Headline by Anthony Bell