Australians have been told that they’ll need to endure career politicians dressed up as tradies, standing in front of cameras, having awkward conversations in factories and supermarkets with ‘ordinary hardworking Australians’, twenty four hours a day, for the next 37 days.
“I’m not sure I’ve got it in me to give a shit,’ one voter said. “Can we just fast forward to the bit where I can get a sausage in bread?”
“If I have to see any more footage of a rich guy in a suit pretending to push a broom or scoop food onto a plate, that might be it for me,” another said.
Others were more optimistic about how the next five weeks might unfold. “I’m actually looking forward to hearing about how a guy on $400k a year understands how hard it is to navigate the cost of living crisis right now,” a first-time voter said.
“I think it’ll be ok,” another said, before being reminded that Clive Palmer’s face will be plastered on every screen, billboard and piece of paper for the next month and a bit. “Oh yeah, I forgot that. I’m going to leave the country immediately”.
