Labelling it a golden export opportunity for Australia, an analysis by the nation’s science agency has found that motor vehicles could be propelled entirely by the absolute nonsense spouted by Opposition leader Peter Dutton.
In a report released today, the CSIRO found that Dutton’s brain farts, such as holding a referendum on the deportation of dual citizens, could power millions of vehicles across the country and beyond. “This is an energy source that is abundant, free and 100% renewable. It really is remarkable,” a CSIRO spokesperson said.
Analysis shows that Dutton provides a stable, consistent baseload of brain farts, with occasional peaks of intense bullshit. “We found that there are times when his bullshit spikes – generally when there is a scandal or stuff up that he wants to divert attention from. We’re looking at ways to capture that excess energy created during these peak times and export it to our trading partners”.
Dutton’s brainfarts are seen as a superior source of energy because they are renewable, unlike coal and gas, and never stop, unlike wind and solar. “While solar is great, we do experience drops in generation during winter and at night. We don’t have that problem with Peter”.
