Peter Dutton has demanded an urgent Australia-wide investigation, after a young child ‘stole his nose’ at a family BBQ today. It is the second time Dutton has fallen for an obvious prank this year.
Sources say a young family member came up to Dutton, pinched his face and shouted ‘Got your nose!’, showing him her thumb between her fingers. Without seeking any clarification, Dutton instantly labelled the incident the worst ever terrorist attack in Australian history and called for an Australia- wide investigation.
Shocked family members tried to intervene, urging Dutton to seek further information from the child, but Dutton refused, saying there had been a security failure at the top levels of Government.
“If the Prime Minister of our country is not across what was potentially the biggest terrorist attack in our country’s history, then I think he’s not fit for the job,” Dutton said in a hastily-called press conference.
“I’ve literally lost my lose here. How this was allowed to happen, in broad daylight, under the Prime Minister’s watch is unthinkable. It is an absolute abrogation of Mr Albanese’s responsibility and we deserve to have answers.”
Sources say Dutton later looked in the mirror and realised his nose was still there. He will now avoid all media for the next ten days.
