Ukrainian leader Volodymyr Zelenskyy has conceded it was inappropriate for him to sit down for a civilised meeting in the Oval Office with Donald Trump, given the President’s preferred method is for visitors to invade Government buildings by force.
“I disrespected the local customs,” a contrite Zelenskyy said following his disastrous meeting with Trump. “I brazenly walked through a door instead of climbing in over a wall. I then rudely sat down on a chair when clearly I should have thrown it through a window. I forgot who I was talking to”.
Zelenskyy apologised, saying as a visitor to Washington it was impolite of him not to vandalise any US Government property during his stay. “I lost track of the fact that I was in Washington, and I forgot how Trump expects people to act there. I didn’t break anything. No-one died. I wasn’t even wearing a stupid helmet with horns. What was I thinking?”
He said that if he is ever invited back he will make sure to urinate on the carpet and loot the building before meeting with the President. “I just want to show my respect”.
