Donald Trump has signalled he will not tear up America’s sub contract with Australia, but says he wants to negotiate a much better meal deal.
Asked about his thoughts on the AUKUS agreement, Trump said he was a big fan of subs. “I love subs. Trust me, no one loves subs more than me. But if we’re going to get subs from Australia then I want it in a large meal deal for no extra cost”.
He said he wanted a rainbow cookie and a large Coke thrown into the deal at a minimum. “And I want all of the toppings on the sub too. Even the expensive ones. And they’re going to pay for it all too”.
Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese began to explain that the AUKUS agreement was for nuclear submarines, not meatball ones, and that America was contracted to build them. But he quickly backed down so as not to offend anyone. Australia will now pay $368 billion to supply Donald Trump with a footlong meatball sub, a cookie and a drink.
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Headline by Anthony Bell
