A White House spokesperson has confirmed that plans for the US to take over control of Gaza, announced by President Trump yesterday, may have been based on a misunderstanding.
“The President heard the words Gaza Strip, and got excited,” the spokesperson said. “He automatically conjured up images of strippers, porn stars and beauty queens, and felt like he needed a piece of the action”.
In the bombshell announcement, which has sent reverberations around the world, Trump said he saw great potential for Gaza to become the adult entertainment capital of the world, promising to build hundreds of new casinos, luxury penthouses and an exclusive, state-of-the-art Gaza-a-Lago golf resort.
“This will be the biggest, most beautiful golf course in the world,” Trump boasted. “The place is already a hole, so all we have to do is add 17 more.”
Trump said the existing Palestinian population who call Gaza home would soon get to savour their first taste of the American dream. “Specifically, the bit of the dream where we deport all the brown people we don’t like to places they don’t want to go.”
Israeli PM, Benjamin Netanyahu, has welcomed Trump’s plans and insisted that his country’s recent bombing campaign against Gaza was merely Israeli tradies performing “demolition and site-preparation work” ahead of Trump’s exciting new redevelopment of the region.
Netanyahu admitted he’d never previously supported a two-state solution, but said he could easily change his mind if the two-state solution was between Israel and America.
