In a shock on-air confession, an unusually emotional aneurysm revealed it had been experiencing an excruciating pain, which medical scans revealed to be Kyle Sandilands. It will now undergo urgent surgery to have the Kyle Sandilands removed.
“When the doctor showed me the scans, I couldn’t believe it,” the aneurysm said. “There was this huge, disgusting bulge. The kind of ballooning ball of pus that could only possibly be a commercial FM radio host.”
A team of specialists at St Vincent’s Hospital in Sydney advised the aneurysm that it should have Sandilands removed as quickly as possible, before the KIIS FM shock jock had the chance to bore everyone with another mic break about anal sex.
But the aneurysm said it would feel more comfortable having the procedure performed in Melbourne, a city with a proven record of Sandilands rejection.
Surgeons in Melbourne said it would be a relatively straightforward operation, but complications could arise if Sandilands tries to strap them to a lie detector during the biopsy.
It’s not the first time that a member of KIIS FM’s highly paid breakfast team has required medical attention. Last year, Sandilands’ co-host Jackie O checked into a rehabilitation clinic to treat an addiction to painkillers. But staff at the clinic advised her that taking 16 painkillers a day was a perfectly reasonable dosage for anyone who has to work with Kyle Sandilands.
