
Saying America needed to stop the flow of terrible music into US territory, Donald Trump has imposed a special 2,000% tariff on Canadian music, well above the 25% rate for other goods and services.
In a statement today, the White House said Americans had suffered enough, claiming the music of artists such as Nickelback and Justin Bieber was a worse scourge on society than fentanyl.
“How many families have been torn apart because of one family member’s addiction to shit Canadian music?” the statement read.
“How many people have been forced to break ties with their uncle, or their father-in-law, or their brother because of a self-destructive Canadian soft-rock habit?
“Right across the country there are stories of communities that have been devastated because some guy still insists on playing his 2005 CD of Nickelback’s ‘All The Right Reasons’. And that’s before you even get to Despacito. The number of parents who lost their children to Bieber Fever in the 2010s is heartbreaking. This madness stops today”.
Canadians have responded with a total ban on anything to do with Kanye West.
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Headline by Anthony Bell