Tennis player Novak Djokovic’s claims he was poisoned while being held in a Melbourne hotel in 2022 have been dismissed, after it was revealed he actually just raw-dogged a tub of Vegemite without knowing what it was.
Investigations show that Djokovic ate the Vegemite straight out of the little hotel packet as if it was a chocolate treat, not a high-intensity food spread designed to be spread carefully over butter on toast.
In an interview with GQ, Djokovic said “I realised that in that hotel in Melbourne I was fed with some food that poisoned me,” to which the hotel responded, “Nah mate, that’s just Vegemite you dickhead”.
The 24-time grand slam winner said the hotel stay had left him with high levels of metals and lead. But a leading nutritionist confirmed that, “That’s what Vegemite tastes like when you don’t mix it with anything you idiot. Everyone knows that”.
Djokovic told GQ he felt so sick he had to bring in an emergency medical team to treat him. The nutritionist said that was consistent with eating Vegemite straight from the jar. “Calling in a medical team feels like a bit of an over-reaction, but it is a shock to the system. You accidentally spread your Vegemite too thick and you feel like you’ve ingested a metal fence. We’ve all been there”.
