An audible sigh of relief was heard from Parliament House’s Aboriginal Flag this morning after Peter Dutton announced he would not stand next to it if elected Prime Minister.
The normally inanimate object, a widely agreed-upon symbol for Australia’s First Nations peoples and their aspirations, has previously been seen to edge away from the Opposition Leader, even on a still day.
“Thank God I don’t have to do that any more,” the flag said in a statement today. “Do you know how uncomfortable it is having to stand next to a symbol of division and disunity every day? It’s a terrible look,” it said.
The flag, which has stood proudly in Parliament for decades with minimal protest from any party of consequence, later indicated that it was quite happy to not be in the same room as Mr. Dutton, and that this policy could start today if at all possible. Ideally within the hour.
The Prime Minister, Anthony Albanese has indicated that he will consider standing 23.8% further away from the flag pending the outcome of today’s focus group.
The Torres Strait Islander Flag has belatedly been contacted for its views on the matter.
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By Tim Hall
