The Andrew Lloyd Webber musical Cats has finally come to an end after Haitian immigrants abducted and then ate the cast, according to Presidential candidate Donald Trump.
Trump said he had heard credible reports that recently arrived immigrants had broken into a performance in Springfield, Ohio and feasted on the performers.
“The people came in, they ate the cats. It’s terrible,” Trump explained.
“They ate Mistoffeles, they ate Rumpleteazer. A lot of people are telling me that Rum Tum Tugger is gone too. I hear maybe even Skimbleshanks. I don’t know, someone should look into it. It’s very nasty what they’re doing to the Jellicles”.
Springfield Mayor Rob Rue said the city had no documented cases of immigrants eating cats, or Cats the musical ever playing in Springfield.
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Headline by Anthony Bell
