The Australian Prime Minister has told his new UK counterpart, Keir Starmer, that he is just a phone call away if he ever wants to chat through some strategies for frittering away an historic mood for change after more than a decade of conservative rule.
“If you ever get overwhelmed thinking about all the things you could achieve with a majority Government, give me a buzz and I’ll give you some strategies for putting those ideas on hold until a third term of Government to ensure they never eventuate,” Albanese said in a late-night phone call.
“Remember, the honeymoon period won’t last forever, so my advice is to seize the moment by not doing anything that could remotely upset anyone”.
The Australian PM said he knew what it was like to face a decimated opposition after seeing them in power for years. “This is the moment you’ve been waiting for; this is what you’ve worked towards for your whole political career, so make sure you let the opposition parties set the agenda.
“Remember you’re the one in power now, not them. Make the most of it by appeasing them and their media outlets at every opportunity. There’s not a minute to waste!”
Albanese said he looked forward to keeping in touch over the coming months. “The first few months are the most important mate. If it all starts going too well, give me a buzz and I’ll give you some tips for mucking it up. Oh, and if you’ve got any obscure 100-year-old Labour Party rules that you can use to get rid of a young up-and-coming MP, make sure you use them. Voters love that kind of stuff”.
