Coalition to Deliver Nuclear Power Using Existing Copper Phone Network — The Shovel

Coalition to Deliver Nuclear Power Using Existing Copper Phone Network

Peter Dutton unveiled his party’s signature energy policy today, saying it will be able to deliver nuclear power faster and more cheaply by utilising Telecom’s 80 year-old copper home phone network.

Under the Coalition’s ‘Nuclear-to-the-Node’ model, power would be generated by nuclear power plants then pumped to ‘nodes’ on street corners, before being delivered via copper into landline phone ports.

“This is a very modern approach to energy delivery,” Mr Dutton said, adding that the Coalition had been inspired by its own policy for the National Broadband Network. “If you like the NBN you’ll love our nuclear energy program”.

He said the decision meant Australians could look forward to cheaper electricity by 2055. “Cheaper bills are just around the corner. Your next 80 quarterly energy bills will be higher. But the good news is, after that, you’ll have totally forgotten about this policy and so you won’t blame me when your energy bills get even higher still”.

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